With moderate to heavy snowfall being reported around the UK in almost every region but London and the South, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been quick to play down the risk to the public.

Speaking to reporters outside No. 10 he said: ‘I don’t really see this as an issue. If you ask me it’s a trumped-up story by the media to try and make things a little more Christmassy. Look around you. The pavements and roads here in the capital are completely clear. Jolly well dashed if I know what all the fuss is about.’

‘But just let me assure everyone of this. Should we hear even one unsubstantiated rumour of so much as a single snowflake falling within the the Home Counties, then we will of course hold an emergency meeting of the COBRA Committee to ensure the great British public is kept safe.’

‘After all, this bulldog breed didn’t see off Mr Hitler by getting all of a doodah over a few flakes of frozen rain.’

‘We have ably demonstrated that whenever the public is in danger, ministers will act and act decisively. If you demand proof, then I suggest you look no further than our world-beating stewardship of this beastly global pandemic business.’