Mr Johnson told reporters: ‘Giving these kids free tuck isn’t the way forward. I mean what is someone from an inner city sink estate going to make of An Amuse-Bouche of Tom Yum Goong and Shichimi Onigiri? Or for that matter Cassoulet of Lamb Loin with Pomme Dauphinoise in a Blackcurrant Jus, eh?’
‘You know when we were at good old Eton during the half-term our parents would have to put their hands in their own pockets to provide our meals. Pater never tried to blag grub for us off the state gratis.’
‘Although more often than not we wouldn’t actually hang about for the hols in some horribly depressing squalid tower block apartment. Who’d want that? No, by jingo! We’d be off to Tuscany or Cannes soaking up the sun and eating haute cuisine by the plateful. Or in the Winter it would be Klosters with all the après ski and eggnog we could handle.’
‘Please don’t try to lecture me about what it’s like to be a beastly little fourth form tick. Oh yes, I’ve been there and have the t-shirt.’
‘So if anyone says I’m out of touch then just let them put that in their pipe and smoke it.