A satirical news website has today said that comments, offering riches beyond the dreams of avarice, which follow some of its stories are utter nonsense and best completely ignored.

Kyle Schlibbitz, Editor-in-chief at WebNooze said: “I don’t actually know why these tossers post this crap. We leave the feature enabled just in case someone wants to remark on the the story itself.”

“You know stuff like: ‘That was really very funny, I was about to jump off Tesco’s roof but after reading your piece it brightened up my day. You’ve saved my life. Much obliged,’ and so on, but that rarely happens.”

“Instead we get some utter idiot banging on about how they earn $3,000,000 per second by just working from home while drinking coffee, watching porn and masturbating upwards of ten times a day.”

“However, many of these utter fuckwits don’t seem to realise there’s already a well-established forum for this kind of risible nonsense.”

“It’s called The Mail Online. A place where they seem to welcome random idiots posting deranged drivel with open arms.”