Bed retailer Dreams has announced that recumbent parliamentarian, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is to spearhead its new advertising campaign in the run-up to Christmas, affording yet another stream of revenue for the controversial politician to go with the many others he enjoys outside of his work with the Conservative Party.
The spooky and sepulchral wraith-like MP for North East Somerset was chosen following his recent appearance in The House of Commons, when to everyone’s astonishment, he was caught on camera taking a power-nap on the front benches as tumult and furore raged all around him.
Dreams Marketing Director Tony Sandman said: ‘As soon as I saw him lounging there, just as nice as you like, I knew he was sure to strike a chord with our customers so we wasted no time whatsoever getting him signed up.’
‘He will be the face of our in-store campaign with life-size cardboard cutouts placed throughout all of our retail shops with a speech bubble saying’: “So haste ye to bed, yet indulge ye not in any hanky-panky lest it be consensual and between but two adults of the opposite sex.”
However it is understood that the retailer has drawn the line and that under no circumstances will Mr Rees-Mogg’s likeness be used in its children’s novelty bed department, as their market research found he conjures up upsetting images of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.