A group of Middle Ages enthusiasts that some actually claim constitutes a political party, is believed to be getting increasingly more concerned over the size of bribe they can expect to be offered for supporting a last gasp attempt to get a Brexit deal through Parliament.

Boris Johnson’s profligate promises of wheelbarrows laden with money, for almost everyone and everything that will help him win votes in the upcoming general election, are at the root of the group’s worries.

DUP Leader Arlene Foster said: ‘Me and Nigel Dodds had a wee juke through the window out into the back garden when we were at No. 10 the other day, and I can tell you this, thon magic money tree is looking pretty bare so it is. Johnson had better not think we’re going to back him for anything less than a couple of billion at least.’

Readers may remember that in 2016, and during the height of the Tory enforced austerity policy, the DUP was handed an obscene and barely affordable one billion pound bribe by then PM, Theresa May, to ensure her lame duck administration was kept propped up.

Commentators are expecting a further announcement from Downing Street that a substantial amount of money will soon be made available for sundry and as yet unspecified projects in Northern Ireland.

Newly appointed spokesperson for the Prime Minister, whom we’re being asked to believe is, purely by coincidence, an Ulsterman and former member of a previously prescribed Loyalist paramilitary group, “Big” Sammy Gibney, said: ‘Luk, I’m sayin’ nathin’ so I’m nat. But like, see if we do get an award of say maybe thee billion poun? Then I’m sure it will be entirely justified, so it will.’