Nutty pots and pans professor and some say chef, Heston Blumenthal, has announced the new spring menu for his world renowned restaurant The Fat Duck in Berkshire, and already foodies and critics alike have raised eyebrows after reading the nine course tasting menu.

Masterchef presenter and complete bluffer, Gregg Wallace, speaking on ITV’s This Morning told Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby: ‘Heston’s a genius and a true innovator. And of curse cheffing just doesn’t get any better! But I think he’s made a blunder with this new season. I really do.’

And regular at the eatery, businessman Brian Wilkes, said: ‘I’m a fan of Heston. He’s amazing but I’m not too sure about this to be fair. It might be amazing but it certainly doesn’t sound it to me and I don’t think I’ll be giving it a go.’

The menu is printed below so you can perhaps make your own mind up, but with an eye-watering price-tag of  a shade under £2500 per person, you could just end up feeling shortchanged.

The Fat Duck – Spring 2018 – 9 Course Tasting Menu @ £2495.00 PP

~ Artichoke dog-turd scrapings

~ Squashed perambulation trippings on tarmac squares

~ Doctor Finlay’s ukulele with a consommé of crotchets

~ Cobblestones 10 different ways (boiled in the bag at your table)

~ Piss holes in the snow

~ Bobby Charlton’s comb-over trailing

~ Torquay sand midges napped in a banjo coulis

~ Re-imagination of imaginary imagery 74 ways

~  Kangaroo scrotum plopped into an Ant & Dec foam

~ Coffee and After Eight Mints